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Thursday, August 9th, 2007
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"the problem was you had to keep choosing between one evil or another, and no matter what you chose, they sliced a little bit more off you, until there was nothing left. at the age of 25 most people were finished. a whole god-damned nation of assholes driving automobiles, eating, having babies, doing everything in the worst way possible, like voting for the presidential candidate who reminded them most of themselves."
"i could see the road ahead of me. i was poor and i was going to stay poor. but i didn't want money. i didn't know what i wanted. yes, i did. i wanted someplace to hide out, someplace where one didn't have to do anything. the thought of being something didn't only appall me, it sickened me. the thought of being a lawyer or a councilman or an engineer, anything like that, seemed impossible to me. to get married, to have children, to get trapped in the family structure. to go someplace to work everyday and to return. it was impossible. to do things, simple things, to be part of family picnics, christmas, the 4th of july, labor day, mother's day...was a man born just to endure those things and then die? i would rather be a dishwasher, return alone to a tiny room and drink myself to sleep."
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six years in the game. let's keep it real.
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Thursday, March 29th, 2007
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Wednesday, March 21st, 2007
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Thursday, March 8th, 2007
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while leaving safeway yesterday i was approached by an employee who asked, "hey, aren't you the guy with the infamous myspace where the face is never shown?"
infamous? what?
so much for anonymity.
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| Time: | 4:40 pm. |
| Mood: | mellow. |
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This is the day
Of the expanding man
That shape is my shade
There where I used to stand
It seems like only yesterday
I gazed through the glass
At ramblers
Wild gamblers
That's all in the past
You call me a fool
You say it's a crazy scheme
This one's for real
I already bought the dream
So useless to ask me why
Throw a kiss and say goodbye
I'll make it this time
I'm ready to cross that fine line
I'll learn to work the saxophone
I'll play just what I feel
Drink Scotch whisky all night long
And die behind the wheel
They got a name for the winners in the world
I want a name when I lose
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide
Call me Deacon Blues
My back to the wall
A victim of laughing chance
This is for me
The essence of true romance
Sharing the things we know and love
With those of my kind
Libations
Sensations
That stagger the mind
I crawl like a viper
Through these suburban streets
Make love to these women
Languid and bittersweet
I'll rise when the sun goes down
Cover every game in town
A world of my own
I'll make it my home sweet home
This is the night
Of the expanding the man
I take one last drag
As I approach the stand
I cried when I wrote this song
Sue me if I play too long
This brother is free
I'll be what I want to be
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working the graveyard shift and having hours of free time can really give you time to think about the simple - oh so great - things in life.
- sometimes i think about the number of people who have shaken hands with the president of this country. you may ask, what's so terrific about that? i'll tell you. i'll guarantee that a lot of those people didn't wash their hands and as a result slipped the chief remnants of feces and semen. yummo?
- being given the advice, "don't ever fall in love" from heartbroken men, and replying only with, "how fucking stupid do you think i am?"
- knowing that i'm being paid to masturbate, play videogames, and watch cartoons. and they wonder why i don't quit that shitty job.
- having a diet that would kill a diabetic instantly.
- paying a dollar for records containing music that was without a doubt played while your parents concieved you. just a thought.
- lastly, but certainly not least:
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Wednesday, February 14th, 2007
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fuck love. all i got for hoes is hard dick and bubble gum.
i wish this was a paid holiday.
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Friday, February 9th, 2007
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"A person that played WoW died in real life, so the persons friends in WoW decide to have a funeral for him/her. But a guild full of nothing but assholes decides to invade the funeral kill everyone there, very sad group of people. This happend on the Illidan PvP server a few months ago."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ewP1zfm_Yqg
i haven't laughed this hard in a looooong time. yes, i know i'm going to hell. feel free to crash my online funeral.
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Wednesday, January 31st, 2007
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i come home from my thankless night job and eat two hotdogs and a can of tea for what should be considered breakfast. i watch free internet porn until i decide i should probably attempt to sleep. i put on some steely dan in hopes that it may sooth my jangled nerves. i lay in bed for what feels like hours after the record has stopped, and i'm already too lazy and warm to get up and flip the side. in time i fall unconcious and have dreams about god knows what. typically it involves me tripping over something and falling on my face. i wake up around 5pm feeling worse than i did when i first layed down. i find enough strength to walk to the kitchen and find myself something to eat for what should now be considered dinner. i'll have a candy bar and a soda, maybe some cereal if i'm up to the challenge. i spend the next few hours feeling burned out from my sugar intake and playing videogames because i don't feel like making an effort to do anything else. 10:45 rolls around and i'm ready to do the same thing over again. welcome to being 22, single-and most importantly-having a tremendous creativity block. life's not so bad afterall.
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Tuesday, January 30th, 2007
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Breathe deep the gathering gloom
Watch lights fade from every room
Bedsitter people look back and lament
Another day's useless energy is spent
Impassioned lovers wrestle as one
Lonely man cries for love and has none
New mother picks up and suckles her son
Senior citizens wish they were young
Cold hearted orb that rules the night
Removes the colours from our sight
Red is grey and yellow white
But we decide which is right
And which is an illusion
also...
"THERE'S NO CUDDLING IN PORNO!"
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Monday, January 15th, 2007
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it's too cold to be outside tonight. winter keeps a criminal indoors.
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Sunday, January 7th, 2007
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new year.
- same god damn headache i thought had subsided. i'll just let time take its course.
- good amount of paint at my disposal.
- might as well take better care of myself this time around.
- more books, more vinyl, more skating.
keep living. keep killing
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Saturday, December 30th, 2006
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remember last year when i said that 2006 would be really strange?
wasn't i right?
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Sunday, December 24th, 2006
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i'd like to share with you my favorite x-mas song.
Born Against - X-Mas Eve
a nation of nonbelievers unrepentant in their hearts pious one night out of every year ease the mind ditch the guilt and alls right and just on xmas eve the jokes on them the dead are never gonna rise again rise again on xmas morning three cheers for santy hip hooray our saintly concern for world peace lies at our feet undisguised as naked greed the joke's on them the dead are never gonna rise again and christ's dead flesh keeps right on rotting.
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Wednesday, December 20th, 2006
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i recently found out that going out at 3-4 in the morning during the winter may not be the brightest idea. imagine that, ink will not stick to an icy surface. the more you know.
y'all niggas are getting a dick in a box for x-mas.
i must aquire this poster somehow. worth my 20 bucks? yes.
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Friday, December 15th, 2006
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a song with at least four names.
"Utter Crap Song", "The Woe-Is-Me-I'm-So-Misunderstood Song", "The About-As-Close-To-Emo-As-We'll-Ever-Get Song", and lastly, "This Song Is Short Because It's Not Political".
i hid inside my room like a fucking coward (what? please kill me).
the past eighteen months flashed before me in the last eight long hours.
it was amazing you finally got a rise out of me.
i laughed, i cried (well i tried, but i laughed again).
who the fuck needs a caricature to be their friend?
it's so fucking stupid.
i'm just as scared and insecure as you (maybe even x2).
and i wonder what you really thought of me.
an intimate friend? a loud-mouth jerk or just a novelty?
this is not an apology, just therapy,
cuz as we all know (and apparently),
i don't need anybody
ladies and gentleman. my god, axe grinding lyricial inspiration, and personal savior, Chris Hannah
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| Time: | 4:40 pm. |
| Mood: | blank. | | Music: | Vive La Fete - Touche Pas. |
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"fuck art. let's kill" (hell yes)
i should start a one man band. and you can all hate me (moreso.)
french electropop is the shit.
i'm getting way too weird for my own good.
mario 3, anyone?
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Wednesday, December 13th, 2006
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someone posted this on 12oz, in the north bay thread. clearly not my proudest moment. but i guess that's what happens when meathead skater kids rush you through the process.
i'm starting to go through withdrawls. the spark seemed to have died out for a few months but maybe i've given my mind enough of a rest. it's time again to bend letters in every which way. granted, the scene is hot right now and the weather is anything but forgiving. spots are flooded out and johnny law himself would whore out his own mother to fill his quota. i'm thinking maybe i should go on a walk in the rain soon, from one side of town to the other. like old times. low profile and cutty. the holidays make me sick.
i need to piece, like a junkie needs a hit.
shit ain't over til it's over, son.
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